Lane Cardwell

Weapons of Mass Consumption

The battle between the casual dining super powers just went nuclear. It was only a matter of time before this happened. The escalation of arms happens in most wars, but seldom do you see the response to a large bomb be the launching of a thermonuclear weapon. Most countries big enough and smart enough to possess an atomic bomb are smart enough not to use it. Well, the gloves are off, the diplomats have been recalled, and all neutral parties are speculating what the level of residual radiation from the blast will be. TGI Friday’s has stated their intentions to explode a $5 weapon and the casual dining industry is waiting to see how they should respond. Peace is far from at hand.

Friday’s announced that all 16 of their salads and sandwiches, 9 new and 7 existing, will be available now through May 31 for a price of $5. This was in response to hated cross-town rival Chili’s rolling out an offering of 10 entrees for under $7. Reports of the two CEOs scuffling in the shared parking lot between a Friday’s and a Chili’s were not true. It was just a lot of name calling. Nasty, demeaning stuff like “Discounter!” and “You’re not a CEO, you’re a loss leader!” Tender ears will never be the same.

Much like North Korea’s response to the world when questioned about their recent missile launch of a “satellite” into space, Friday’s claims not to have sinister intentions. Their minister of propaganda was quoted in the following declaration of war:

"This is an incredible opportunity for our guests to try the mouth-watering flavors of Friday's new sandwiches and salads," said Andrew Jordan, senior vice president of marketing for T.G.I. Friday's USA. "To celebrate, the entire sandwiches and salads menu will be specially priced at $5 for a limited time. Our guests can enjoy these incredible new flavors or their favorites at an introductory price point that simply cannot be beat."

Yes, and the Dear Leader is simply trying to improve the cell-phone signals for both of North Korea’s iPhone users with its “satellite” launch.

Something weird happens when you offer entrees for $5 on a menu of entrees that range from $8-$19: people buy them. Have you ever been to a baseball game during $1 hot dog night? Many of the other food vendors don’t even bother trying to sell their $7 nachos and hamburgers. There are simply not enough buyers. The same will be true in Friday’s during May. It will be all salads and sandwiches, with the occasional big spender willing to shell out $16 or so for a rack of ribs, and feeling foolish for having done so.

One company launches a value meal for $10. Another responds with a “Buy One, Get One Free” for entrees. Then someone decides to escalate with an offer for $7 entrees. And then you see the $5 Friday’s offer. Looking back at this chronology we should have seen it coming. Exactly how good a deal is a $5 sandwich or salad offer? The steak sandwich at Friday’s normally sells for $11.75 and their pecan-crusted chicken salad is $9.69.

    

What else will $5 get you around the industry?

·         A foot-long sub at Subway, the company responsible for firing the first bullets in what will no doubt be called the $5 War

·         $5 meal combos at Boston Market that include a beverage

·         A torpedo sub at Quizno’s (and $1 in change)

Reports that Chili’s and other competitors to Friday’s are working on a $4 steak and seafood menu have not been confirmed, but are not being denied. War is hell.

Posted by Lane Cardwell on April 28, 2009 | Comments (6)